36 Weeks

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Today I'm unofficially 36 weeks pregnant! One more week and baby is "full term." The crib is built. The diapers, wipes and Desitin are placed on the shelves, we have nooks, baby wash, lotion, oil, powder. We have blankets (oh do we have blankets), we have burp cloths, washcloths, towels. We have sleepers, onsies, socks, outfits and a Christmas dress. We have a base, a carseat, a stroller, a boppy, a bounce chair, a bumbo, a bassinet, and a pack n' play aka baby jail.

I cry when I hear country songs about a baby girl, last night, on the ride home I heard Rodney Adkins "Cleaning This Gun" and sobbed through the 465 to 69 bypass. This morning, I googled "baby girl country songs" I came across Kenny Chesney - There Goes My Life and the tears flowed from reading the lyrics.

We're so close I can taste it, I have spent more time looking through the baby clothes we have than I have watching my DVR'd shows. I have visions on photographing her under the Christmas Tree all snuggled up in a diaper with a big large bow on her. I imagine meeting her, holding her, having her close to my skin, feeding her, bathing her, watching her. I wonder will she look at me, will she open her eyes right away and know I'm her mommy. Will she have hair, will she be bald?

D is beyond ecstatic, we went out last night with his coworkers and he was just so excited talking about his baby girl, he observed how his friend always lights up when he talks about his son and I could see the same light in D when he spoke about his daughter. I've spoken to old friends, they have told me they can hear in my voice that I am happy, one mentioned a twinge of jealousy over how things are coming together in my life.

We have so much to do, but still "not that much," we are finally doing our birthing classes THIS week after postponing them twice. I can say now in a "couple" weeks we could be doing the real thing, we'll consider this weekend the practice run.

How did/would you feel when you are thisclose to meeting your baby?