Substance

Substance

Friday, October 29, 2010

Cause it's almost THRILLER, thriller night...


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That girl you saw on your way to work at 7:30am blasting Michael Jackson's Thriller and doing the dance complete with shoulder shimmy while seated in her car... Yup, that was me! I didn't really get BIG into Halloween after I was too old to trick or treat, but after I turned 21 and could go to the bars and party then I would dress up and I tried not to be too skanky. I reused my female Where's Waldo outfit quite a few times and my roller derby skating costume too, we'd always go to different parties/bars so only my besties would see me in the same outfit.

I asked D if he wanted to go out for Halloween, out to the bars and everything since this will be our first/last Halloween without kids for... 18 years or so, but he had no interest. I'll most likely be sleeping by 10:00 anyway Saturday night. BTW, I say first/last because we met November 19th, so this is our first Halloween together and also our last without kids, because indeed we are having a baby. That's my logic readers, I'm polish, OK!

I'm excited as I am now a home dweller and we have lots of kids in the neighborhood so I get my very first trick or treat being responsible for purchasing and handing out candy. Again, did this at my parents house, but they bought the candy. My apartment was locked and I didn't get any kids. It will be fun checking out all the costumes and melting when I see the cute babies.

We briefly discussed having D dress up as a scarecrow, putting up a sign that says "Please take one" and scaring the crap out of the greedy kids that take more. I don't know if that will come to fruition this year or not. We like to wait till the last minute to decide things, more him than me, but none the less, we procrastinate. We haven't even gotten pumpkins to carve or put out for decorations!

What are you Halloween plans?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What I learned in the last 35 weeks

This week marks my 35 weeks! I have honestly been very blessed throughout my pregnancy, I have heard some not so good stories about morning sickness, hemorrhoids, early contractions and bed rest. Even though I've hit "the wall" as they say (walking 3 blocks is a challenge, and I'll still have to stop to use the restroom even if I used it right before I left) I still enjoy feeling my baby girl planning her escape and punching and kicking me throughout the day now, even the kicks to the ribs aren't so horrible.

The last 35 weeks have been a roller coaster! Aside from moving to Indy I have learned so much about myself and my body and still am in awe what it has grown. I have built a human. It was nostalgia when I felt the first little flutters of movement my tummy in the quiet of the early morning on a futon in my Grandfather's home knowing my grandmother felt those flutters of my mom and my mom felt those same flutters of me in that same house. I feel connected to women, the earth and God as I will soon do what billions of women before me did.

In the last 35 weeks I have learned:

-hormones are real and in fact an excuse for ridiculous crying or laughing or weird combination of both

-I used to think a back tuck was an awesome thing my body could do, ha! That's nothing now

-my bladder is not made of steel, it feels like it's now made out of sponge

-having a baby is not as overwhelming as it seems, I have great family and friends who came together to provide us with plenty for this baby

-it really does go by fast

-I have been humbled by this experience

-Dreft is expensive, detergent with no dyes or fragrance does the same thing for less

-a "crib set" is really just an expensive decoration, because you can't put blankets or pillows in a crib - mesh bumpers and a crib sheet works just fine

-it hurts to bend over, like physically painful - and it's nearly impossible move past the waddle at this point, jogging or running are out of the question

-actually, everything hurts now

-your belly button hurts when it's expanding, it's scar tissue and does not have elasticity

-people are nice to pregnant ladies, they smile, hold doors and offer congratulations

-my boyfriend is, surprisingly to me, very handy

There is a ton more I could add to this list, probably a ton with TMI, but that's the fun of blogs right? Knowing all the juicy details, maybe I'll do one of those posts in the future. I had my baby shower this weekend and took lots of pictures and pictures of my month old niece, I tried to upload them using my parents computer, but again had no luck. :( I met kjpugs on Friday and here's the picture she took of us:


If you enjoy my blog, make sure to stop by hers if you don't already. She is more awesome in person than she is in her blog and she's the one who gave me the kick to get this blog started, we became friends on twitter and she was asking if I had a blog.

I can't believe I have a baby growing in my tummy! My niece was an absolute dream and angel, seeing her made me so much more excited to become a mother, we played tricks on family and friends telling some I already had the baby or that it was my younger sisters baby. :) I think D was slightly intimidated by her though, he laughed as she tried to focus on him and started going cross eyed, but had no desire to hold the tiny princess, it will be different when it's his.

What did you learn from your pregnancy or what advice/information have you learned from friends and family during your pregnancy?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

'Ok, imagine jail...and then change nothing'

This is a quote from the movie we went to see this weekend, Life As We Know It (cute, funny movie, but not in a cheesy kind of way). In the quote, he is referring to marriage, I laughed so hard when I heard it and couldn't stop! D was looking at me like I was a crazy woman, it wasn't THAT funny, but it was.


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There are mornings, those early morning hours just waking up, entwined in each other and we fit together so perfectly I can not wait to call this man my Husband. Then we have other times where he seems so distant, or I am being difficult and I feel we have so much work to do. I want to hear him promise to me, God and closest family and friends that he will take me as his, and I take him as mine, we exchange rings and kiss and then it's over.

Very soon we both will be having the happiest day of our lives, meeting our daughter. Marrying will not replace meeting her as the happiest day of my life, certainly not a wedding. People often assume he's my husband, D's friend B even calls me "the wife," I am correcting him and reminding him I am not D's wife, I am his girlfriend. I do not want us to fall in that trap, where it's "like" we're husband and wife and worry that since "it's 'like' we're married" we won't actually get married.

We were out a couple weekends ago, as we walked past a jewelry store D asked if I wanted to look at engagement rings, he did not say this is jest, but I had no desire. It seemed weird to me. Part of it is the wedding talk/end of season that's been going on, part is because I spend hours looking at wedding porn. Mostly, nearly all of my friends are married now. I love other people's weddings, love seeing the pictures and love hearing the details, but I don't need or want that for me. God gave me a baby first and I have faith that he'll give me a husband next.

Why am I writing about this? Am I engaged? No, I'm just a baby mamma who one day wants to have someone to call my Husband and he'll call me his Bride, and we'll live happily ever after where it won't be like jail!

Did you get nervous because you lived together or had a child together that since it was "like" you were married, you wouldn't actually get married?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Shadows

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just wanted to pop in and say "hi" quickly! I'm working on putting together some regular posts. Tonight, D and I are going to take a CPR class, it worked out really nice for us as the building I work in is having the instructor come to our work. I would like to urge each and every one of you to take a class.

We hope to never ever have to use it, but after reading Kelly's story I knew I must take the class. Please, if you have not, at least consider taking a class sooner than later. Knowing that I could potentially save one life makes it worth it for me!

That's my public service announcement for the day!

In other news, we have a crib in a room... the future nursery, my baby shower is approaching and I am excited to get everything washed and ready! Make a trip or 8 to Babies R' Us (for real, I had to go to Walmart a bunch of times for forgetting stupid things when I moved into my apartment even WITH a list) and then play the waiting game.

Our little girl is growing so strong, her newest "trick" is scooting her butt up on the right and moving her legs along the left side of my ribcage! She spent the weekend in my ribs, but I still wouldn't trade it for the world!

Hope you all have a great Tuesday! Check out Kelly's blog, try not to hate her too much for looking so fabulous after having her handsome ACE man then find a CPR class near you!!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Versatile Blogger Award


Hey dear Readers! My fellow prego, the awesome, Stephanie at This Casita honored me along with some other great bloggers the Versatile Blogger Award! I love getting awards, although I don't feel I have been to versatile (I haven't done recipes or remodeling and STILL have to purchase a new-old memory card for our camera), but the thought is much appreciated! So I am to tell you 7 things you don't/might not know about me, without further ado:

- I know LOTS of song lyrics, like tons, everything from Aerosmith to Frank Sinatra to Phil Collins to Eminem. I spent lots of time listening to music growing up. I love relaxing and listening to music, D is not too big of a fan, but he's getting into it.

- I have a bathroom phobia. When I was a little girl, I got ring worm on my rear end. I heard the doc telling my mom it was from using public toilets and that was the end for me! I wouldn't use the bathroom at all during the school, the teachers were always calling my mom because I didn't go to bathroom breaks, I held it in. Any bathroom that was not "my" bathroom was out of the question. Since pregnancy, this issue has been a non-issue (when you gotta go, you gotta go), but I wouldn't say I'm cured. I have never gotten a bladder infection from this, I have a bladder of steal!

- Port-a-potty's are OUT of the question! I hadn't stepped foot in a Port-a-potty for nearly 20 years, but broke that two years ago because my nephew had to go and he couldn't reach the bowl. If he wasn't so gosh darn cute, I wouldn't have broke my streak.

- I skipped Kindergarten. Graduated high school when I was 17 1/2! Take that!

- I was born on Elvis's birthday day, coincidentally, my dad was born the same date of Elvis's death. Do you know what those are?

- Since about August, I spend the majority of my day with at least one hand on my belly. I love feeling baby move! Love love love it! I mean people told me it was cool, but they didn't tell me it was THIS cool!!! I'm growing a human! Nearly 34 weeks later I am still amazed at that.

- I'm a horrible liar, like really bad. I could maybe get away with lying if it wasn't to your face, but if I had to straight up lie to your face, you would probably know or I would break down and admit it. It's a blessing and curse!

Some gals that are more than worthy of receiving this award include:

http://www.happyhourwithahousewife.com/ - Funny, wonderful, insightful housewife in CA to boot!

http://jessicalynnwrites.blogspot.com/ - A strong, smart military wife with some awesome recipes!

http://kjpugs.com/ - She just got a great new design and is a sweetheart, also includes melt-worthy pictures of her adorable pugs!

http://littlewedplanblog.wordpress.com/ - who is now Mrs!

http://youngbutinfertile.blogspot.com/ - and another fellow prego, an inspirational woman and story.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I can't complain but sometimes I still do

It's a gorgeous fall day here in Indy and the title is from a song I've long forgotten, but it's the truth... (Bonus points to those who know the song) I heard the song playing on my walk around the circle at a cafe that I've never eaten at. I have nearly 7 more weeks until I meet my baby girl and couldn't feel more happy at this moment.

D surprised me last Saturday and straightened out the nursery and my Hercules moved the crib all by himself into the room! Baby steps, right? I know it will get done, it better this weekend! I'm starting to let go of the worry, D tells me I need to stop worrying all the time. What can I say? I get it from my momma...

But I digress, when we disagree I get worked up and dismissive, I mean I nearly have "everything" I've ever wanted and yet I still complain. This relationship stuff is new to me and when crap gets difficult, all I can say is "I'm done, I'm going back to Wisconsin." It's not fair to D, he works too hard for us, his family, and for me to get crappy like that. He helps me see that and has patience to work through this and talk it out, I am a lucky lady.

Being in a relationship after 5+ years of being single, difficult. Being in a relationship after being single for 5+ years, moving to another state AND going through pregnancy, priceless.

One day we'll look back laughing...

How has life been good to you so far?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Great 8

The wonderful kjpugs tagged me in her post and since she motivated me to create this blog I owe it to her and my wonderful readers to answer questions. Besides I like to answer silly questions - it's fun.

1.If you could pick any one animal to have as a pet, what would you choose? I would want a dog, nothing too over the top.

2.What is the weirdest injury you have ever sustained? Umm, I got a huge bruise down under once.

3.What is the worst insult you’ve ever received? Shortly after I relocated I found out I had a parking ticket that was a fraud, but they were sending me to collections and suspending my plates. I called and explained my situation and the woman told me "You were probably thinking if you left you wouldn't have to pay it..." Yes, dear readers-unprofessional. I called her supervisor AND got the ticket dropped.

4.Which character from Friends was your favorite? And if you didn’t watch Friends… who the F are you? I will go with Phoebe, she was the funniest and cookiest, I need to get more Phoebe-ness in my life. Smelly cat, smelly cat...

5.What is the best “go-to” recipe in your arsenal? Don't really have one, for an appetizer probably shrimp and crab dip, it's so easy. On a platter spread cream cheese, sour cream, then cocktail sauce and put canned shrimp and crab on top. Serve with Wheat Thins. For a dinner, something with Chicken, I haven't really messed up anything with Chicken.

6.If you could go back and change one detail of your life, what would you change and why? My reaction to my first boyfriend breaking up with me, it was bad and a lot of my insecurities came from that.

7.Which of the 50 United States would you least like to live in? Hawaii, islands are not my thing unless they're private.

8.What was your favorite class in high school or college? I really loved American History in college, it was interesting to learn and see how history repeats itself.

I know I'm supposed to tag 8 peeps, but instead I'm going to turn and ask you my dear readers to answer me those questions. Pick one or all eight and tell me your answers!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Things that make you go Hmm

"It’s my job to help shape my child into the person I think he or she should be."

"I’m a parent. I’m doing the best I can to raise my child with the belief system I have in place. I am using the tools I have to make the best judgments I know."

These are quotes from the guest post that has taken the blogging world by storm. Scary Mommy had her friend do a guest post, if you haven't already, you can read it here.

I read these above quotes and am prompted to ask the question, are you also saving money for the therapy bills?! To quote Dr. Phil "How is that working for you?"

Last week, I mentioned D and I went to church, we went to a Christian church, Non-Denominational and what they do is instead of a Baptism, they have a dedication, (my family assumes our baby will be baptised). The purpose of this dedication is this:

Parents present their child before God and His people asking for grace and wisdom in carrying out their responsibilities. Parents also come praying that their child might one day trust Jesus Christ as Savior for the forgiveness of sin.


I was baptised a Catholic. By no fault of my own, my parents divorced when I was 13, I was then a bastard in the eyes Catholic church... this is where things between me and the Catholic church got messy. I didn't have my father growing up, I always said as snotty as could be "I didn't ask to be born."

As a parent, I am going to have to make some decisions, some choices for my child while keeping in mind she too didn't ask to be born. I'm not talking about the peas or carrots, Cheerios or toasty o's, but choices that are going to affect how she views the world, choices I make for her that shape and change her. I want to do all that I can to encourage her to make her own choices and be confident with those choices, to be comfortable in her own skin.

Living with D, only though it's been three short months has taught me a lot. The other day I left the house without kissing him goodbye because I woke up late. I spent all day thinking about that, how long would it have taken me to walk 5 steps give him a quick peck?

I freaked out about being late, I didn't think about how he would feel (he thought I was mad at him) nor did I think what if something happened to either of us. The news story of the morning was that a little boy was killed by a car on his way to school, I sure hope his mother kissed him before he left and he knew how much he was loved.

There's so much a parent needs to think about, not just the color of her room, or her bedding or the outfit she'll wear coming home it's how every choice we make for her until she is old enough to make her own choices are going to affect how she makes those choices. It's not about me or D, it's about her.

What do you think the role of a parent should be?

Pictures, Video, Vlogs oh my!

Don't get so excited dear readers yet, I promise I will get a new, old memory card so my computer can recognize the format, but just wanted to blog about a giveaway that would be fantasical for me to win... I suppose, it's fantastical for anyone to win, except those of you who recently purchased a new camera.

On Mommy Words, you can enter to win a new Flip Ultra HD Camera!! Just go here:

http://www.mommywords.com/2010/10/win-a-flip-ultra-hd-on-mommy-words/

It's simple to enter, and if I win, I promise pictures for all!!! Everyday, maybe even a video. :) Thank you.

Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

If I could write a letter to me...

I've been having a lot of thoughts and feelings, but getting those on my blog seems like a jumbled mess, I start on one topic and then go to something totally different. 8 more weeks (more or less) and I will meet this tiny baby who as of late has been making me uncomfortable, while continuing to make me laugh and blow my mind that my body has created a human being.

One of my favoritest mommy bloggers, Melissa at Dear Baby was recently inspired to write a letter to her former self prior to becoming a mother, you can read about it here. You may want to have a whole box of tissue handy while reading this woman's blog, she is so kind, loving and hopeful for her daughter,husband, family and friends and personally inspires me to remember it is the small things in life that are most important and she has GREAT style sense!

I encourage each of you to think about what you would write to you regardless of where you are in life, please feel free to share in the comments section of mine or Melissa's blog. Although I have not yet given birth, this experience has changed me and without further ado I present you with my letter to me.

Dear Me,

You are too excited thinking of what you're going to dress up for Halloween to even think about it now, but soon you will meet a great man. You will have no idea the effect he will have on your life or that this time next year you will be Indianapolis expecting your first child together. The next year is going to be filled with so many ups and downs, but you will be a better person for it and it will forever change you.

You are going to work through many of your insecurities and worries, this man will help you with those things, he will hold you and talk to you and look at you and you will know that what he says is true. He will not be perfect, he will have his faults, you will be far from perfect also. You will embarrass yourself and show him your vulnerable side and your ugly, but he will come back, he will come to your window in the cold winter night wanting, needing to be with you. He will tell you you are his lobster.

You will not have a problem getting pregnant and live without morning sickness, you will be away from him those first months. That will break you enough. Everything you have known the past 27 years will change, you will be less judgemental. You won't live happily ever after. You will worry, be anxious, wonder how you'll make it, you'll doubt your decisions and when you think you've realized you've made a huge mistake, you'll talk with this man. You'll be careful, you'll be cautious, you'll be open. You'll really know that you have your family's and friends' support.

The rest has yet to be written. You'll cry when you hear songs on the radio, see that car commercial with the little girl, watch people give birth on tv, and even while picking out your mother's birthday card. You'll dream of big things for your baby girl, bigger than you ever dreamt for yourself, in 8 short weeks your life will change more than you or I could imagine. You're ready for this, you will be great at this, it's all part of His plan.

Stay Tuned,

You

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Quitting my day job

I was riding down to the first floor with our interns for my afternoon break yesterday. One had his backpack on so I asked if they were headed to class or done for the day the answer was neither. They were going to watch traffic and count cars. I asked if they count like "One, one car, ha ha ha ha. Two, two cars, ha ha ha ha..."

They laughed and I laughed nearly the entire walk around the circle... I'm so funny, maybe I should quit my day job!


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Monday, October 4, 2010

Finding our place

Happy Monday all! This weekend was much better than last! Friday, after our Doctor appointment we went walking around Noblesville and had dinner at a small brewery. We went to go see the "facebook movie" too. Saturday night, I got to get out and hang with awesome, intelligent, funny ladies. Sunday, D and I went to our first church here in Indy, our first church service together.

D and I are not religious people, but I believe that I need to be focusing more on religion and faith. Previously, all my endeavors with having a relationship with God began with a tragedy. God had blessed us with each other, a child, He had plans for us we didn't even know about and I’m excited to find what else He has planned for us. He has already created something so wonderful and we both want to honor Him and teach our daughter about God and Jesus.

D wanted to wear his Manning jersey and I told him he couldn't wear that to church, when we arrived, nearly half the congregation was in jerseys. Next week, he can wear his jersey.

We both liked the church, it was contemporary, there were a good amount of young people and families with babies and I felt we could fit our family into this church. We were invited to sign up and they would inform us of the next welcome class. I liked that I didn't feel uncomfortable about our "sinning," (I was raised Catholic) the member asked if it was safe to assume I was with child, of course I told him yes after joking about weight gain.

I'm not sure if we're going to explore other churches, we both felt comfortable and enjoyed the sermon, the one turn off was pushing the tithe. Next week, 10/10/10 they explained there were going to focus on tithing (10% of earnings given to the church). We appreciated the heads up. We're okay with discussing that for a week or two, but hoping this church WON'T focus on tithing all the time.

How did you find a place of worship with your significant other? Did you change religions?