Substance

Substance

Sunday, August 22, 2010

2nd Month

The second month I am not proud of, the second month, he should have left me, went back to doing what it is he does and just left me. I didn't deserve him, he was more than I could have asked for, what on earth did I do that I was so lucky to have this man as mine?! So I broke up with him, cut it off, I was done, I wanted him to be done to lose my number and not call. Before I get hurt so badly I'm not even sure I can fix myself and bring myself back to where I was before him. It was easier that way, or so I thought.

He came back, he kept coming back. I would argue about trivial, petty things would tell him I'm done and he would come back. I'm not proud that he came back, I wondered why and if he was for real. Still, eight months later, I hold him and kiss him and silently thank him for not giving up, for not leaving, for being so kind and wonderful to me it made me want to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming. I wanted this so bad and it was there, it was here for me. More than the man of my dreams, safety, security and love, strength, sexiness, patience and understanding. He understood me, he knew me, he could read me like a book.

I got through it, grew up and realized this is the real thing. I let go and let myself fall knowing his arms would catch me and hold me and calm me and free me. My world would never be the same.

3 comments:

  1. I need to start blogging like you... not because I don't always have much to write about but you have me coming back every day dying to know "what happens in month 3?!" hahaha

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  2. I almost did this to B... doesn't it feel great to know that someone loves you in spite of the mistakes you make!??! LOVE IT!

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  3. I did this to Paul, REALLY bad, though. He came back after I searched his ass down! Yeah, it was like, 5.5 years later, but whatever. :)

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