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Hey all, so now the baton is passed on to me. I have read in my "mom blogs" that babies prefer the mama and Grace is becoming no different. Last night during dinner at the neighbor's (M's) house I wanted to imbibe a few Miller Lite's. I brought my bottle of pumped milk over to the neighbor's house and she offered to feed it to the baby while I prepared, more like, attempted to prepare some dinner. Grace would have none of it, my sweet darling of a girl turned into a pretty p'd off baby. Why? Because M does not stand for mama.
I felt two ways about this - 1) that I am THE MAMA, but b) sometimes mama needs a break and it's okay for her to know that others can and will love and care for her. The toughest thing in the world is hearing your baby cry/scream and knowing that all they want is you. I know I am helping her not be so dependent, but dang it's tough. M has watched her before and we spend a good amount of time with her, but I think my presence prohibited her from getting over the fact that someone else was feeding her and it was not OK. M told me she was not like this when she watched her before (THANK GOD).
I recently started a part time job on the weekends and daddy is looking forward to spending time with Grace one on one, I was nervous, but they both seem to be doing well adjusting to this new schedule - at least that's what D tells me.
It's tough being in a new city and having few friends or family to help my daughter learn that others are capable and willing to love and care for her. We are getting out of the house, but most of our interactions with "outsiders" are limited to me holding her while they smile and look at the baby, the minute I hand her off, she is unhappy, I leave her sight and Bam, all h-e-double hockey sticks breaks loose. Grace has established a comfort zone and I am the mother ship of which it revolves around.
A friend told me babies think like they are thrown onto a foreign planet. It makes sense, they spend 10 months in the womb and come out into this world lost and scared. I love being a mom and just want what is best for her. I am hoping in writing this post someone can come and prove me wrong, that she is just fine when someone else is holding her and really I'm making this up to make me sound more necessary than I really am.
I wholeheartedly believe it takes a village to raise a child and although I do try very hard to keep an open mind with everything, others can influence and instill values in her that I may not be able to. I learned too that being away makes me love and appreciate her more which makes me a better mother and woman. I cannot forget about the woman that I am.
Awww sweet Grace! We have to get together soon so I can try my hand at making her LOVE me! I never thought about babies like that before- the foreign planet thing. And it makes so much sense! Makes it a little easier to relate to them!
ReplyDeleteI visited a friend like that after she had her baby (she was about 4 months or so I think). The second I was alone with her, BAM, crying screaming, everything. Her momma was just in the other room, but still where she could see her. She would still play with me and not scream, however, when her mom was holding her. It was so odd. Now I understand!! I think what you said makes perfect sense.
ReplyDeletePS - I loved that show, Dinosaurs!
We went through a phase where HUT wouldn't take the bottle - it was so hard and frustrating for everyone involved. Of course they prefer their mommy, but it's great for them to get the interaction time with other people as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard at first to leave them with other people, but it gets easier in time. I always just tried my best to not think about it - unless they were calling me, everything was just fine. And, when you get home, it makes those baby snuggles even better (if you can believe it)!