Someday my Prince will come

I tried this time, I really did. I took time to edit my profile, Jen-nie took a GREAT photo of me, I picked catchy headlines and updated frequently. I spent lots of time on there, during work (I didn't have Internet at my apartment) and when I would go to my parents house. I was going to make this work. I did the new contacts and if after my six months was up I did not find him, I would get six more months and by then I would for sure find him! It's the guarantee, "find a match or it's free."

A few emails here and there, but they were too short, not attractive, too desperate, or too weird or divulged way too much information... breathe, you have time I reminded myself. I was 26, I hadn't been in a serious relationship since I was 20. I never lived with a man, I never shared with a man, I didn't have much time. My friends were getting married, they were moving in, they had babies already. The girls in the bars were getting younger and here I was getting older, thicker and drunker. It's okay, I assured myself it's fine. I'm special, I'm different someone will appreciate that. Don't worry.

And then it came, another email from a guy without a photo... What is with that? Don't they understand attraction is part of dating? I'm not the prettiest thing in the world, but I would like to see what I am getting. Smoking, he likes that I smoke... wonderful sounds like the man of my dreams (I was trying to quit at the time, hoping I would meet a non smoker). Did he even read my profile? He does want to settle down though, I'll respond to his email. Maybe he's new...

A couple days after that we're online at the same time, he messages me asks me how this online dating thing works. I go with the tried and true meet for a beer and darts and go from there. Worse comes to worse we have a beer and a game of darts, if things go well, we have another beer or go somewhere else. I told him he should get a picture up though, pictures are important in online dating, his response: "My mom says I'm handsome!" Shortly after he emails me to inform me got a picture up and I did agree with his mom, he was handsome!

This all began last October

I'm going to start off with the reason I am in Indy and how we met and our story so far, the plot thickens rather quickly even I don't know how it ends...

If you would have told last-year me I would be pregnant and preparing to become a mom, she would have laughed, lit up a smoke, finished up her beer and asked for another. Last-year me did want to find a "someone special", she wanted to find some to love and someone to love her back, but they hadn't found each other quite yet and that was OK.

I'd had been waiting for 5 years, what's another couple years? I had so much love to give, I'd spent plenty of time alone. I'd made real, true, honest to gosh friends and was content where I was in life. I had a job I enjoyed and was good at. Somewhere where I made a difference, I was important and I counted. I felt like I was on my way to something.

My mother had been bugging me for awhile to do online dating. I did yahoo personals a year or so before with no luck, more recently I had been on plenty of fish and that was a joke. I wanted to find someone who had their stuff together, was without babies, or drama, didn't need to go to the bar all the time, wanted to work out and most importantly wanting to find and give love. Share their life with somebody, build a life together. My besties were already married, Mo Mo last December and Jen-nie in June. Sigh, always a bride's maid, never a bride.

I saw the look of desperation in my mom's eyes as she asked me yet again to do online dating, she knew how lonely I had been, how badly I wanted love, she offered to "pay" for it. Not too far from the Holidays, but not so close, enough time, plenty of time maybe I wouldn't have to spend another holiday alone, answering yet again, why I didn't want to invite a date to the celebration.

So I did, I signed up for Match, mom gave me her gift certificates to restaurants which I could use on my "dates" and the rest in cash. I was excited, I was ready, I wanted this, not too much, but enough that yet again I would make the effort to get a dolled up, put on my best smile and welcome the opportunity to meet my future husband!