Leaving what is "Mine"

I lived at home till I was 24 years old. I moved into my apartment in Dirrty Stallis (that's West Allis for those of you not familiar with Milwaukee)in March 2007. Bars on every corner, so many hole-in-the-wall bars, mullets and cut-off shorts, but it's relatively safe and like 15 minutes from everywhere.

So many memories I have in my little apartment. I found out the day before I was pregnant. Since I was going to be moving to Indy asap, I gave my landlord notice April 1 that come April 30 I would be moving out. Financially, I couldn't swing saving money and staying in my apartment and having a baby.

We needed eachother now, we couldn't be apart while we were having a baby. It broke his heart to not be at my first apointment. My best friend Mo went with me, we kept joking "we're having a baby," so I wasn't so nervous. I scheduled the dated ultrasound at a hospital on a Saturday so D could be there. We almost didn't get in cause the Doctor never sent the order, I thought D was going to go apenuts on the receptionist. We got in.

It was tough being away from him, thankfully, I didn't get any morning sickness, but my emotions were a wreck. So many phone calls, I mailed little notes to him, so little time we had together during the weekends. We had hoped I would have been there already, now I had every reason I needed to get there as soon as possible. My focus shifted from finding THE job, to finding a job. He told me not to worry, he would take care of me, he just wanted me in Indy.

D wanted to tell my family that weekend, Easter weekend, I wanted to wait until after the first trimester. He had already told his. Actually, I wanted to wait till I was out of the state, far away, maybe when I was in labor. Or I could just come home with the baby. I wasn't sure how my family would handle the news.

I couldn't hide it from my Aunt Is, she asked if I wanted a beer (she never asked if I wanted a beer, she knew I would just grab one). I declined of course and she kept asking if there was something I wanted to tell her mentioning I was glowing. She was so excited for me, touching my belly, telling me there's a baby in there, that I'll be a great mom. They were my "cool" Aunt and Uncle growing up and they still are. Supportive of me no matter what, I love them so much for that.

Collectively, we decided June 12th I would go. In a way it was like ripping off a bandaid. I discussed it with my boss, D, my family and that was the day. Job or no job, I would make the move.

**I would like to wish you all a SAFE and healthy holiday weekend! We're going to get a new memory card so I can have some pictures**

Also, for you twitterers you can follow me on there, same name as my blog!

This all began last October

I'm going to start off with the reason I am in Indy and how we met and our story so far, the plot thickens rather quickly even I don't know how it ends...

If you would have told last-year me I would be pregnant and preparing to become a mom, she would have laughed, lit up a smoke, finished up her beer and asked for another. Last-year me did want to find a "someone special", she wanted to find some to love and someone to love her back, but they hadn't found each other quite yet and that was OK.

I'd had been waiting for 5 years, what's another couple years? I had so much love to give, I'd spent plenty of time alone. I'd made real, true, honest to gosh friends and was content where I was in life. I had a job I enjoyed and was good at. Somewhere where I made a difference, I was important and I counted. I felt like I was on my way to something.

My mother had been bugging me for awhile to do online dating. I did yahoo personals a year or so before with no luck, more recently I had been on plenty of fish and that was a joke. I wanted to find someone who had their stuff together, was without babies, or drama, didn't need to go to the bar all the time, wanted to work out and most importantly wanting to find and give love. Share their life with somebody, build a life together. My besties were already married, Mo Mo last December and Jen-nie in June. Sigh, always a bride's maid, never a bride.

I saw the look of desperation in my mom's eyes as she asked me yet again to do online dating, she knew how lonely I had been, how badly I wanted love, she offered to "pay" for it. Not too far from the Holidays, but not so close, enough time, plenty of time maybe I wouldn't have to spend another holiday alone, answering yet again, why I didn't want to invite a date to the celebration.

So I did, I signed up for Match, mom gave me her gift certificates to restaurants which I could use on my "dates" and the rest in cash. I was excited, I was ready, I wanted this, not too much, but enough that yet again I would make the effort to get a dolled up, put on my best smile and welcome the opportunity to meet my future husband!